Midterm: Monday in class
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At Rutgers University in New Brunswick, New Jersey, on October 3rd, classmates remember Tyler Clementi.
The following is by Jason Fulford for TIME Magazine
Bullies can be anywhere, but there's no place they show up more than in schools, and no time more than in September. Once the academic year starts, the complicated social hierarchy of a campus — popular kids, nerdy kids, ADHD kids, nerdy ADHD kids who are popular because they sell Adderall — gets reinvented. But this fall the casual brutality of the schoolyard seems particularly bitter. In the past few weeks, at least three teenage boys — one in Houston, one in Greensburg, Ind., and one in a small central California city called Tehachapi — have committed suicide after being bullied. And, on Sept. 22, a freshman at Rutgers University, Tyler Clementi, threw himself from the George Washington Bridge in New York City. His roommate had secretly recorded a video of Clementi kissing a guy; the video went up on YouTube. On Facebook, Clementi offered a final status update: "jumping off gw bridge sorry."
All four communities have been torn over whether they could have done more to protect their sons. On Oct. 1, 600 people crammed the First Baptist Church in Tehachapi to remember Seth Walsh, a 13-year-old who liked Pokémon, dance music and reading the Bible — and who had (somewhat reluctantly) acknowledged to understanding family members and friends that he liked other boys. Seth had been teased relentlessly; it started when he was in fourth grade, according to his grandmother Judy Walsh. "By sixth grade, kids were starting to get mean," she says. "By seventh grade, he was afraid to walk home from school."
Seth hanged himself in his backyard on Sept. 19. His mother Wendy, a 44-year-old beautician, found his body. Seth was unable to extend her the mercy of dying quickly: a helicopter came, and he was on life support for nine days.
The four cases tumbled onto one another so quickly that they caught school officials across the country off guard. The education system has invested hundreds of millions of dollars in antibullying campaigns in the past decade. At least 42 states have passed laws against bullying — most since the 1999 massacre at Columbine High School in Colorado, where two troubled boys killed themselves and 13 others. The U.S. Department of Education opened its Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools in 2002, and just last month Secretary of Education Arne Duncan hosted a Bullying Prevention Summit in Washington, where he noted that, even in this economic climate, President Obama had asked for a 12% increase in funding for antibullying programs.
The trouble is, the technology of bullying has advanced much faster than efforts to stop it ever could. If you have a cell phone, you can post to your entire school that a girl is a slut or a boy is a fag — and you can attach an unflattering photo or video of them to try to prove it. At least bullies of previous decades had to hold you down before they could spit in your face.
Researchers have a hard time measuring how common bullying is because there's no single definition. Is bullying only verbal, or does there have to be a physical act? If you hear a schoolyard taunt that you know how to brush off, were you bullied or just annoyed? Does it have to be repeated behavior to count as bullying, or can it happen just once? Does it have to disrupt a whole class, or can it affect only one or two kids? None of this is clear to those who study and make laws to prevent bullying. Most state laws differ on the precise motivations and consequences required for a harassing event to count as bullying. If one 12-year-old boy taunts another, most state laws wouldn't call it bullying unless there is both demonstrable harm — the victim is injured (at least psychologically) — and demonstrable intent. In other words, for a bully to be a bully, he can't have just been any insensitive kid. He had to want to hurt his classmate.
Doing nothing is not a neutral act when an individual pleas for relief from the emotional misery bullying inflicts. Doing nothing is denying the person credibility as an adult. Doing nothing is sustaining the status quo and defending the perpetrator, however implicitly or indirectly. How dare HR, the primary agent responsible for implementing or blocking the employer’s response to reported bullying, side with the bully (most often in management, 73%) against the employee who naively came to HR for “help”! So at the beginning of our second decade, we must not be reticent about calling perpetrators and those who support them immoral. It is not our subjective morality that is violated, but the deeper sense of human dignity that is undermined when victims of bullying are not supported. We need to rekindle our compassion for those less fortunate than us whose fate was not their own making. Bully apologists have an indefensible, unconscionable position of favoring abuse.Once we are bullied and feel the full force of a laser-focused campaign of interpersonal abuse, we drop the smug justifications for the bully. If we work long enough in enough different places and encounter enough incompetent bosses, we are likely to be bullied ourselves in our work life (37% of U.S. workers are). The only people who still doubt that bullying happens are the ones who have never suffered an unexpected, univited disaster or catastrophe. Events humble arrogant superiority known only to those lacking experience in bullying, direct or witnessed. But we should not have to wait for everyone to be personally bullied so that they understand how destructive bullying can be to personal health, careers, families, and employers. Paraphrasing comments from a recent U.S. president: you are either with us or with the perpetrators. The fundamental question is to which side are your willing to commit?
ReplyDeleteThere are not two equally compelling morally equivalent sides to the violence at work dilemma. No one targeted by bullying invited or wanted the intolerable misery. There is no “win-win” amicable mediated settlement possible in bullying situations. To tolerate a little bit of abuse, to appease perpetrators, is unacceptable. It is a moral compromise that leads to societal decline. It triggers retrospective questions such as, what have we allowed ourselves to become? The choice is simple, actually. Do not squirm to make it complex. The ethical human choice transcends corporate or institutional needs. Either side with the perpetrators of violence and rationalize and excuse the escalating trend toward hostility and abuse in the workplace or
side with the targeted individuals who asked for nothing more than to be left alone to do the jobs they once loved.
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ReplyDeleteTo me, being bullied is not something that happens once. We all have been laughed at, talked about, or embarrassed more than once. Being bullied is when these things constantly happen to you. Often, people turn to bullying because of their own insecurities. They like to talk about other people to make themselves feel better. Most people who tend to be bullied by the same person end up hanging around each other. They find that they both have something in common and sometimes its easier to deal with when you have someone by your side. Bullying is more than verbal, bullying can be physical also. Sometimes during gym its easy to bully people. People can throw things at you or push you around. Even at practice, if people play sports its also easier to bully people. Most of the time bullying won't disrupt a whole class unless the bully knows they can get away with it. If a bully wanted to do harm to another person they probably wouldn't want to disrupt a class they might make it more private. Bullying is a sign of weakness, most bullies have major problems of their own and are just looking for a way to ease their own pain. They find the best way to do it is to make others feel bad.
ReplyDeleteBullying in our country is becoming such a huge topic and matter that I think it's almost too far gone. This article is pretty much restating everything that news and local media has already said and putting it all together. There have been so many more cases of teen suicide, depression, and other means of self means of coping that teens have taken to deal with bullying that it's really appalling. In our area, we recently saw a freshman girl from Spencerport, Cameron, who took her life after senior girls created a fake facebook in her name and bullied her endlessly in school. Social media is a huge factor and a big part of the blame for bullying. Its also the fact that kids dont know how to express themselves and think its going to make them look better to their peers if they put others down. in actuality it makes you look weaker bc you have to use confrontation as your means of solving problems.
ReplyDeleteBullying is different to everyone and everyone has different emotion tolerances so its hard to say someones being bullied. In my opinion bullying is completely humiliating someone who is weaker physically or mentally than you are. I mean, in groups of friend, sometimes you gang up on one person, or make fun of something stupid that they said. Is everyone going to just assume the whole group hates that one person or are they just playing around. I think it only becomes bullying if a person is deeply hurt and depressed over the situation. If you're laughing while everyone is making jokes, then its not bullying,its having fun.
Its crazy that children are committing suicide because of bullying. No one should feel like they have to bully another person. Maybe the real reason why bullies like to bully people is because they have a problem within themselves. How does one get a joy out of hitting or picking on someone? In schools a child can see bullying and not even say anything about it because maybe they are afraid they will be bullied too. But if "you" dont speak up about it, who will? These anti-bullying campaigns are obviously not working no mater how much money the government or schools put into these programs. Is a shame that the united states suicide and crime rates are at an all-time high. The main way people commit suicide is by jumping if bridges, maybe something should be done about that. There is so much going on in America that this is probably the least of the governments concerns. Even though they say things are being done about it, it doesn't seem like it. If these programs are so helpful then why don't more kids that are being bullied know about these programs? Teachers witness bullying every single day and never say anything about it because no one takes it seriously until a young child jumps of a bridge or hangs themselves.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Mary, I agree with you. Little ugly kids get the thrill out of bullying others because their UGLY and they know it. Well not all of the time, but that's how it seems. People mostly pick on other kids because there insecure about something going on with them. Bully has always been and around and it's going to continue until the kids that are getting bullied stand up for themself. There's nothing anyone else can do...
DeleteTo be bullied or harassed is possibly the worst torture someone our age can go through. Whether it's at school, work, home, or in between all three, Bullying and harassment is terrible. To me, Bullying can be just one single threat or rumor or laugh. Bullying is bullying, no matter how much, how often, or where/when. When I was elementary school, I was bullied, everyone called me "Stuart little" or they would say something about my ears. In 8th grade however, the tides turned and I was the bully, I regret that tremendously and I owe everyone I made fun of an apology. Recently, I have been harassed by people I thought were my friends. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, just the internet in general is an open gateway for easy bullying. Why bully someone to their face when you can just irritate them more on facebook? I think the reason that this bullying happens in the first place is when one or more people dislike one other person, they use harassment as entertainment. I know this, because I've done it before with my friends, and you think nothing of it. Even in person, you're just unconscious of what you may be doing to that other person.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your definition of bullying. Most people believe bullying is when another student physically hurts another, but verbally harming someone can be just as worse. The social network sites we used have transformed to a thing that people run to when they have an issue with someone to bad mouth them. I believe that bullying over the internet can be worse than in person. In person you may be embarrassed by whose around and see's the bullying take place, but over the internet everyone can see.
DeleteI think bullying is something that can't be stopped. Everyone has once been teased and embarrassed by someone else. It's sad that it has to be apart of life. It isn't our choice. You would think bullying would stop after seeing children kill themselves but people are so cold-hearted now days. It's sad how we can't be ourselves because of what people might say or do to us. It's no fun and games, this is serious. Other children are insecure and wants others to suffer just like they are. So that's when bullying comes into play. These bullying campaigns and anti-bullying programs obviously aren't working we need to take bigger steps and stop this. Did anyone even think to call the police when Clementi wrote that he was jumping off the gw bridge? Most likely not because he's dead now. Everybody is so into themselves and making others feel bad that their blind to reality and what's really going on. This is sad.
ReplyDeleteJeneé Skinner
ReplyDeleteBullying is verbal, physical, emotional, mental, all of the biggies that affect people’s esteem and perspective of themselves and others. From a snide comment that puts someone in a negative light to beating someone up is bullying because it’s an attempt, whether or not it’s deliberate, that picks on someone’s character. How bullying will be handled by the victims is based on the strength and confidence of each individual’s character.
Teasing, taunting, and otherwise trying to take advantage of someone’s vulnerability, is just a means for a predator to feel empowered. How we deal with our esteem is going to vary.
When I’ve been bullied, it’s always been because I didn’t fit in with the normal dispositions of any individual click. When I said hurtful things comically, it was to someone I felt close and comfortable enough with to accept and laugh at their idiosyncrasies or flaws. It doesn’t change the fact that our humanity should overpower those urges to be insensitive and try to be superior. In an ideal world, all of us should have only nice, respectful, honest, and levelheaded comments and actions towards each other.
Subconsciously we (students) bully because we’re mirroring the language that’s around us; so by the time we hear reports and lectures on the right and wrong of subjects such as bullying, our character has already been entwined with the jaded, cruel, and gradually desensitizing stereotype. The cycle of each environment we live in that’s the biggest influence on our character as we grow is often hard to break. As we go on, we become increasingly unaware of what our temperaments say about who we are as individuals and the impact it will have on others.
ASIA VANDERVEEN
ReplyDeleteIts very sad and unfortunate that we have bullies picking on other children, and resulting the kids to kill and cause bodily harm to themselves. You can't tell anyone their not being bullied, if they feel they are, then they are. Bullies tend to be people who have been hurt before and struggle with an inside insecurity, this is no excuse to treat others wrong though. This society is so messed up. Everyone is in everybody elses business, they forget to mind their own. So what if a person is gay? Their sexuality is not effecting YOUR life so why do people care so much? Maybe because they are afraid to be themselves. As for the anti-bullying conventions and campaigns, I think the law should be enforced more, in schools, and on new technology. . . FACEBOOK specifically, cyberbullying, "internet-thugging", and "EXSPOSING" . People fail to realize that people commit suicide over these things. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has flaws. If everyone would just worry about themselves instead of being so judgmental and better themselves we wouldn't have these problems.
I agree that the law should definitely be enforced more on the internet. Once something is out there, there is no taking it off! When people bully through internet or cell phones there's no telling who seen what. People of this time period are very self-centered. If something isn't how they want it to be they don't like it. They don't realize that not everything was mean for them. Today diversity is all around so the person next to you could be the complete opposite of what you like. Aceept people for who they are and what you think they should be. Shanelle Clark
DeleteJaQuana says:
ReplyDeleteI believe that bullying has been around and will be around for all time. Unfortunately anti-bullying has not stopped all bullying. I think that they also need to teach people how to stand up to bullies. Most kids who get bullied are too afraid to say something about it therefore they continue to get bullied. There will be a cycle on and on until the kid does something for it to stop. Most kids are bullied for being smart, “nerdy”, different, or gay. I believe that people should teach kids to love themselves how they are therefore the words that the bullies say won’t mean a thing. I know for a fact that words can hurt especially when you are self-conscious about something. If your content with being yourself the words won’t hurt because you like the things that set you apart, and you are who your meant to be. I truly believe that people can rise above the bullies. You have to be brave and if you have to tell someone about it. Everyone should feel safe and not afraid to come to school. Most people who tease and badger another person has something in their life that they don’t like, or it can be simply happening in their home. Bullies need to learn to love themselves as well. If everyone focused on loving themselves and doing what is necessary for them then the world would be a much better place.
I agree with you, I definitely think it's time for a change in the way we stop bullying. I also agree with people being taught how to deal with bullies, rather than physically. If I was being bullied and was encouraged by my school, parents, or other peers to stand up for myself and report it to someone if I feel like I'm being bullied; I would! I feel a main reason people don't tell is because they're afraid of being a "rat", which could cause the bullying to get worse.
DeleteLynnea Says: This blog is very disturbing. It’s sad to see that kids makes others feel so bad and low to the point that they want to kill themselves. Bullying should be banned in all states and even around the world because, no one deserves to be taunted for being indifferent and/or not having what other people have. Most people now days think bullying is just when you hurt a kid but, I completely disagree. If you make someone cry, make them feel uncomfortable by anything you said to hurt their feelings that’s bullying. I know some kids can be a little sensitive but you should always think about others feelings and try and see what they can handle and what they can’t. I myself think I’ve made people feel uncomfortable or hurt feelings by things I said because sometimes I don’t think before I talk and I’ve also been bullied. I believe everyone in life had either been a bully or bullied knowing and sometime not knowing. Either way it goes no one should ever feel like they can’t be themselves around others because no ones the same and we were made this way for a reason. Bullying so be banned everywhere no questions asked.
ReplyDeleteI disagree, Bullying is a problem world wide but I don't think that it should be banned in all states. If bullying became illegal to what extent would you have to take it to to be charged as bullying. It could turn out very bad. Someone could end up paying fines for calling someone a bad name. Technically, people bully everyday. If you're driving and the person next to you is half way in your lane wouldn't you yell? Would that be considered bullying? It could end up just like all the police officers in the schools, a bunch of people being ticketed for things we do everyday. Shanelle Çlark
Deletei think there trying to get ride of bullyings in a wired direction but i think it is sad that so much bullying is still going on but i do think alot of it has be ablosihed and i dont it its so much a bullying all on one person and they do nothing about it but mutual acttacks agenst one anouther and thats what schools really need to focus on
ReplyDeleteBullying use to mean to me a kid getting his head flushed in the toilet or kids picking at someone until i got to the real world. In elementary bullying was just joking, in high school bullying is something way more serious! In our school especially I have witnessed and been a person to speak up on the situation’s I have seen, I have a strong dislike in seeing a kid being picked one. For example in the beginning of the school year I came across a 7th grade homo-sexual boy. He has so much energy and he is a beautiful child inside and out. Since the day I meant him I have been standing with him helping him get through his days here at school of the arts, this little boy was being bullied by a high school "flunky" who was bigger than him, it was getting to the point where I personally talked to the head principal of our school. The moral to myself connection is that innocent kids begin to feel bad about themselves and that’s why cases of such from this blog take place, bullying is a disease that can kill and it needs to be cured immediately !
ReplyDeleteI think that bullying has definitely become a huge issue in our country this past year. It has effected most kids and teens, and usually tends to happen in schools. We have heard soo many stories in the news and media about cases of bullying in school systems, and for different reasons. I would say that bullying is both verbal and physical. To be where we are today with all this new technology that we have, it has made it easier for kids to target others, and this way the whole world can see, whether its through a social networking site or through a text. I feel like the kids that are attacked and bullied get tormented consistently, not just once or twice. These kids are usually targeted for something they have done, or something that another person doesn't like about them. Kids committing suicide for being bullied is very sad, and should be stopped, but I feel like as long as we have technology advantages and mean kids around us, bullying will continue to happen regardless, as much as we may try to stop it.
ReplyDeleteI agree, as long as we have this technology people are going to be bullied. Sometimes bullying can be done anonymously and it becomes hard to punish these kids. Its crazy how laws had to be implement to punish bullies but at least the death of these children have shined the light on how serious this problem is.
DeleteShaundrana Says.....
ReplyDeleteEveryday hundreds of teens wake up scared to go to school. Bullying is a problem that affects hundreds of students, and it has everyone worried not just the kids on the receiving end. Yet most parents, teachers, and other adults don't see it, making them not understand how extreme bullying can get. When a person is picked on over and over again by a person with more power than them that is bullying. Bullying can be either physical or social. In my opinion people are bullied for one of these two reasons their appearance or their social status. Bullies pick on the people they think don't fit in, maybe because of how they look, how they act (for example, kids who are shy and withdrawn), their race or religion, or because the bullies think their target may be gay or lesbian. As bullying goes on it begins to make an individual stronger or weaker depending on the person. Sometimes the victim of repeated bullying cannot control the need for revenge and the situation becomes dangerous for everyone. Adults need to start paying more attention to their children because often times the signals are all there but just go unnoticed. Most people hesitate to speak out because it can be hard. It takes confidence to stand up to a bully — especially if he or she is one of the established group leaders.
Shaela says.......
ReplyDeleteBullying in my eyes is a complete waste of time. I was raised know that "if i do not have anything nice to say then do not say it at all." The fact that children/teenagers are killing themselves over the mean words people say is horrible. In my mind i ask myself what has this world come to? Taking your own life is not the answer to everything or the answer at all. There is always a way or someone you can talk too and if no one will help then take it into your own hands (The right way) move yourself away from the situation. If things do not get better then make it known. Knowing what its like losing someone to suicide , it just never gets any easier it only gets harder because you wonder what you could have done differently to prevent it . Reading this article I hope people have different views on bullying because it comes in every shape and form .
Newton Watson
ReplyDeleteIt's sad that bullying takes place to this level of seriousness. The problem with bullying will never come to an end. With youth comes the ignorance and indifference on the subject of people's feelings. Kids are often not mature enough to take how they treat other kids seriously. It comes naturally with being a kid and not having moral values. Though at a certain age people should gain some morals as they get older, some kids don't because of the problems they experience at home and take out at the kids at school. Kids who have been bullied nowadays react much more to bullying than they used to. I believe it's a combination of how bullying has developed from technology and how kids have more troubling problems at home that effect how emotional they get in situations. Either way, bullying should be prevented even if it can't be stopped for good. I especially notice anti-gay bullying has become more popular over the years. Support like Gay Straight Alliance as well as other help should always be supported to be there for the people who need it.
Latriece says: Bullying, a epidemic in America that is growing can simply not be stopped. Humans will be themselves forever and never change their nature. Picking on someone that’s different or is out of the ordinary is just in human nature. But what can be fixed is the effect it has on the person being picked on. Most people who are bullied are not given the chance and opportunity to express how they feel or even admit and openly talk about how they feel about being bullied. Counseling is needed with every person that is bullied and even that is bulling, if the right help is given to the people involved in bullying it probably can be stopped in the process of becoming a huge problem. Unfortunately, some bullying instances end up tragically (such as the story we’ve read), but I feel that if starting at home a person can gain self-esteem and assurance in their self that bullying could be stopped and replaced with a more confident generation and create a more accepting place to be. My opinion on this particular situation is that it was very sad. Instead of seeing this as another pity bullying story people should actually take this and sho it to schools and maybe things will change.
ReplyDeleteI agree Latriece, talking can help a lot when it comes to the effects of bullying. If you ask everyone in our class i'm pretty sure that they all have been bullied at some point or another and that's a percentage too high to be taking lightly. The government has spent so much money on bullying and i don't think there has been much improvement. It's sad that a portion of our nation's money has to be spent on anti-bullying programs instead of other things that could benefit students.
DeleteIdalis Miranda says:
ReplyDelete“The trouble is, the technology of bullying has advanced much faster than efforts to stop it ever could,” said Jason Fulford. I think the internet has become one of the most technological advances kids are starting to bully from. Such as the Amber Cole situation. Bullying is a verbal, physical, and mental abuse which no kid should go through. Bullying is more than hurting someone, it’s physical and emotional. “The education system has invested hundreds of millions of dollars in anti-bullying campaigns in the past decade. At least 42 states have passed laws against bullying — most since the 1999 massacre at Columbine High School in Colorado, where two troubled boys killed themselves and 13 others. The U.S. Department of Education opened its Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools in 2002, and just last month Secretary of Education Arne Duncan hosted a Bullying Prevention Summit in Washington, where he noted that, even in this economic climate, President Obama had asked for a 12% increase in funding for anti-bullying programs.” I think these programs are a good idea but there not doing much to prevent bullying.
Bullying is inevitable. It is not my intention to offend anyone but these are some of my personal opinions/observations. When talking about bullying there always seems to be a focus on a specific group of people instead of a general “everyone has experienced it” point of view. I tend to hear a lot of stories about how kids who are gay/lesbian had been persecuted because of their sexuality, and that’s pretty much ALL that I hear, and if I was naïve I might actually believe that that is the definition of bullying. Why have celebrities and reporters not endorsed and reported other stories than “13 year old boy commits suicide after gay taunts” because there certainly are other cases. For instance a fifteen year old black boy committed suicide after being repeatedly called the n-word by another white student, and a thirteen year old girl attempted to hang herself because her peers were referring to her mother as a “crack-head”. There are so many other forms and incidences of bullying and so if we are going to advertise, report, or define it we must accept that there are multiple victims and scenarios. It’s not just about homosexuals, its about everybody regardless of gender, race, or sexual orientation.
ReplyDeleteKaris Says: this is very upsetting to read that a young teen are committed suicide because of the constant bullying and aggravation of others because he was different. This should have not been taken lightly by anyone when it first started. I feel that when situations like this occur, some of this could have been prevented if the parents were a little more involved when it was first brought to their attention. I think you can consider bullying when a child or person is being aggravated, taunted and bothered by one or more people more than twice as well as it being a consistent thing. Bullying is not something that only happens ones. We all have been teased or laughed at least once in our life. It happens within girls and guys. It’s not just one gender of course either. Bullying doesn’t have to be just physical. It’s also verbal and mental. Just because some people who are bullied don’t have something to show for physically doesn’t mean that they are not scared in other ways. They could be mentally scarred for life. Their views on things and life could change completely, and the ones that do change end up committing suicide just like this young boy.
ReplyDeleteKaris i agree 100% with your post. Just because kids son't have any burse or something to show that they've been hurt there's still other ways of bullying. Parents should always be involved in a childs life which meaning asking questions and seeing what goes on at school and regular days. Most kids are already insecure about themselves and bullying a kids because they're indifferent doesn't help at all. The bullying needs to stop no one deserves that.
Delete^^^^ Lynnea Says
DeleteJessica Minllety
ReplyDeleteBullying will not cease anytime soon, as long as teachers and peers continue to tolerate it won’t go away. People are often wonder how far is too far, and what is considered bullying. Regardless if the kid is being physically hit and pushed or verbally assaulted they both hurt. From what we have seen in the media, not every kid can simply forget those hurtful words, it sticks around. Laws should be implemented since that’s the only thing that will probably decrease these attacks. Bullying should not be centered on certain kids committing suicide, many kids commit suicide and it is not because they were gay. For example phoebe prince, who was taunted by classmates and called a whore, committed suicide after teachers and peers saw the events occur and did not intervene. I think we all need to step in and help any way we can. Nowadays bullying not only occurs in school but on Facebook and in chat websites. Some parents should ask their kids about their school day and if they have any problem. Bullying not only affects one group it affects many regardless of any sexual preferences, skin color and beliefs.
I completely agree with you. Bullying affects pretty much everyone regardless of skin color, disability, ethnicity, and the like. I like how you say that not only gay teens commit suicide from bullying. And to top off on the who cyberbullying thing, i think kids and people who use them should report any problems on the chat line to their parents or whoever can help them out. All this inaction is terrible for everyone.
DeleteAdeline Ainsworth
ReplyDeleteI feel very lucky to go to a school where bullying isn't a big problem.
I have witnessed bullying, and I've been bullied before. I believe everyone has, and that could be part of the reason bullies bully in the first place. I believe bullies are insecure and find humor or feel better about themselves when they pick on others. If they bully, they wont be the ones laughed at, their victims will be laughed at.
In the past year, and in recent months, bullying has been brought up more and more. Including cyber bullying which in the article is brought up because it is so relevant in our say and age and especially for high school kids;
"The trouble is, the technology of bullying has advanced much faster than efforts to stop it ever could. If you have a cell phone, you can post to your entire school that a girl is a slut or a boy is a fag — and you can attach an unflattering photo or video of them to try to prove it. At least bullies of previous decades had to hold you down before they could spit in your face."
I read these stories, and I see stuff like this on the internet and on the news all the time. I can't help wondering, can we fix this? According to the article the government has given us many anti bullying programs after the columbine massacre . Not much has changed. And it seems to me that even more bullying has to do with kids sexuality, or that we are more aware of it today because it is just getting attention.
At school of the arts not many people are judgemental or discriminating. It may have to do with our diversity and maybe because we are all artists, and don't have a problem expressing ourselves.
So why isnt it working? I believe that for as long as there are humans, and with that insecure teenagers, there will be bullying. It's preventable and Ive seen a show on MTV, "If you really knew me",
that has transformed schools, but I think what we can do is try to understand eacho other and fix peoples mind set and communication. The adults who are a bit more set in their lives, should reach out more as well. They can help us from worrying about kid commiting suicide. And kids killing other kids. If we can do that alot of us might not be so ignorant.
Bullying in my view should be defined as any act designed to intentionally hurt another person. It just makes me sad that someone would want to kill themselves after being bullied so hard for so long. Why do schools not intervene quicker? Some authorities even blame the victim for becoming bullied, an example is when a kid who was gay was bullied relentlessly in the 80s, the school authorities told his parents that if he didn't act so "openly gay" he would never receive such treatment. The boy ran away from home and had to go to another school because he was bullied so much. Those who bully need to have consequences and sometimes they need to be very strict consequences such as taking away the privilege to participate in school sports. We need to ironically grab bullying by the collar and stamp it out of schools or else tormented kids will suffer for all their time in school.
ReplyDeleteBullying has changed over time, it's turned from a student getting detention to the people being bullied commit suicide. I feel bullying is stupid, and people do it because they're missing something in themselves and fill it with making others feel down to boost their self-esteem. Bullying is when an individual feels that they are being downgraded or embarrassed by another person's statement about that individual. Most people in their lives have once been bullied, but what people don't understand that them believing what they say is a harmless joke, can be mean much more to the person being bullied. It's hard to determine what exactly would help stop this problem. I feel the source of bullying starts with students parents. I feel they should get more involved and talk to their children about bullying students and what to do if they are bullied themselves. Also encourage students to speak up when they are being bullied, if it's stopping them from doing something or is harming them in a way they don't want to be.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Monica Berhe: I totally agree with you. Bullying has changed from just getting detentions or a call home, to the person being bullied committing suicide. There the ones suffering and basically having the consequences in the end. I also agree the the start of bullying comes from the parents. But not always. Some students take advantage of their parents but it's the parents jobs to get in control. This is a issue that's hard to stop because it's been happening for centuries. It's become a way of life now. Smh.
DeleteBullying is a disturbing and pressing issue in our country. Bullying is becoming so prevalent now due to constant socialization on the internet and social networks. Many people are being persecuted due to their sexual orientation. Sometimes this escalates to the point of suicide. It's so sad that people believe that their situation is so helpless. It's very hard to prevent bullying, especially now that so much of the bullying occurs through text messages and the internet. I think the best way to help is to reach out to the victims and make sure they know there are places they can go to. I can’t imagine how torn apart the families of the young people like Tyler Clementi must feel. I think that nowadays bullying is less physical and more emotional. But that does not make it any less hurtful. Bullying is any action or words that make someone feel self-conscious or hurt. I don’t agree when people say that bullying is necessary, I think that bullying tears people apart and hurts them. There should also be attention paid to the people who are bullying, and give them counseling to control their anger and find out why they want to put people down.
ReplyDeleteShymel Hardy in response to Maggie:
DeleteI agree with your response Maggie. Bullying and its effects have escalated in the past years. Cyber bullying makes bullying worse because EVERYONE can see one being taunted publicly. Unfortunately, suicide is what many people turn to after being bullied. Preventing bullying is very hard nowadays because of how it occurs. Reaching out to people is one of the best ways to prevent the conflict because it will soon become contagious. I feel so sorry for the families of suicide victims and I can only imagine how they feel. Bullying is wrong no matter how severe it is.
Jamie Vanhouter:
ReplyDeleteOver time with the help of new technology bullying has grown worse and worse even faster. Like the article said if someone were to have a cell phone then they could bully someone almost instantly rather then back in the day when it would take time and strategy. As far as bullies go I believe that they may be doing these horrible acts of violence because possibly they have had a past were they may have been bullied and/or abused, possibly even talked down upon. Now as far as being gay, bi-sexual or straight goes I believe people should leave it at that. If someone is gay or bi-sexual then I don't see how that could effect and impact another persons life to the point where they would bully and talk down upon them. To be gay or bi-sexual is someones own life choice and culture for themselves, gay straight or bi-sexual we're all the same people inside as long as a person stays true to themselves. Some people being bullies in this category really just take it to far sometimes, they need to fully think things out to the full extent because to lose someone over bullying is just horrible. Sure people here and there mock or make fun of people like cracking a joke here and there but when one takes it to far they should really just put a halt to it and fully think things through. Friends and family throughout days surely may crack a joke here and there but I guess all I'm saying is know your limits and how you may effect that person or persons you are talking about. Personally I have been bullied before and I believe its just the act of a coward or punk because behind every bully or person is something that may have broken them down at one point. Bullying is no joke, no your limits and your impacts on others before anything. If you have nothing good to say then just keep your opinions to your damn self. I could continue on & on about this subject but all I'm saying is think people...think.
I agree with Jamie. It is still kind of hard to believe that kids are getting bullied based on their sexuality. I don't understand why other people care what someone else's sexuality is, whether they be gay, bi-sexual or whatever it may be. It sucks that kids have to go to the lengths of killing themselves, but thats what they are pushed to. I aslso agree with the fact that people should try to think before they say certain things, being you never know how the other person on the other end of the situation could be effected.
DeleteI definitely agree with Jaime on this. If someone is gay or bi or transgender or ANYTHING, it doesn't mean people get the right to make fun of them. Even if someone doesn't agree with that kind of lifestyle, it's not your choice! Why would you bully someone who isn't even affecting you? Clearly you need to do something with your life rather than just making fun of other people. Find a fuckin heart.
DeleteMaddy says:
ReplyDeleteBullying needs to stop now. It is a huge issue in schools all over the country. Kids are being bullied because they are gay, “nerdy”, and different. Being bullied is the worst feeling in the world. You feel small and powerless. I am lucky enough to go to a school where people that are different are accepted. Not only are kids being bullied in school, it is becoming a major issue through technology. People can send fake pictures and make up a rumor just to hurt some one’s feelings. Bullies can also post something embarrassing on Facebook. Unfortunately once something is in cyber space it can never be removed. Bullying is verbal and physical. A bully that says or does anything that hurts some one’s feelings is considered bullying. Sometimes these actions get way out of hand and the victims do not know how to deal with it and kills themself. This is something that needs to be fixed because if all victims were to kill themself then a majority of schools would be gone. Bullies like to feel powerful. In order to fulfill this power they go for the people smaller than them. Bystanders need to stand up for victims of bullying because it will become a bigger issue and harder to stop.
Wade Walker
ReplyDeleteThe topic of bullying is sensitive to many people. I am one of those people. Since third grade I have been bullied. Every year since then, I have been bullied in some way. From verbal, to mental, to physical bullying, I have endured it all. At times, all of the pressure built up to points where I wanted to kill myself. And I admit that. I came close to suicide sometimes in my past. There were moments when I went to the hospital with cut arteries, drug overdose, and also for mental reasons when I was caught with a gun at my temple, and about to jump off a cliff. In the present, I actually regret all of those attempts. I know that many people are and have been bullied. I used to think I was the only person being taunted by a bully. But as I got passed theses issues, I realized that a bully can be anyone. I have been bullied by friends, family, and people I didn’t even know. I have learned that I can’t let these taunts get the best of me. I can finally say that it has been almost a year since I last tried to kill myself. I’m proud of that.
I just don’t understand why people would want to be a bully. It confuses me. What causes you to be a bully? What drives you to intentionally hurt someone? It’s just like this British man who was intentionally dropped. This man suffered from dwarfism. And was dropped from a height of about a meter. And the person who dropped this man was six feet tall. What were that tall man’s motives to drop a dwarf? That is a type of bullying as well. I just don’t understand why some people just think it’s okay to bully someone. It’s really not. The world would be a better place without bullies. There would be world peace without bullies.
Wow i never knew that you went through that. I never really considered suicide but i certainly know what it feels like to be bullied. Like you're no good, everyone is better than you, ive had those feelings. Ive been taunted, pushed around, made to feel like crap. As for why bullies do those things I think it's because they know that they can make other people jump. Im sad to say that i know from experience that calling someone a bad name makes you feel powerful inside and that you are in control of the situation. It was in 6th grade that me and some friends picked on this one kid for being so sensitive calling him "crybaby" and stuff. 2 years later the memory made me feel extremely guilty and shameful. I was an insecure middle schooler and knowing that there was someone even lower than me in the social heirarchy gave me a sense of pride. It was bad and im glad feelings of guilt finally reached through. I never want to bully anyone ever again.
DeleteCarlos Feliciano
DeleteIn response to Wade, you always hear about people who go through these terrible things and honestly sometimes it can be difficult to perceive and fully understand just how bad these situations can be. In this case with the bullying it can be hard to know how real this is until you realize some of the people even in this room right now have dealt with these extremes. I have to say reading this I was shocked to know you went through this and I have to say to endure all of this and be okay, well believe it or not it shows a lot of strength to overcome something like this. Also did I mention I was shocked?
In Response to Wade: Clearly you have been through a lot, so I’m going to try to be as sensitive as I can be here. First off I completely agree that sometimes bullying can be a bit much and it hurts. But then again no one in this world can say that they have never in their whole entire life bullied another human being. So how do you have the right to judge. In my opinion people who commit suicide are cowards, and think that their life is just too hard to live. Don’t give me that bullshit, my mother was molested and beat severely by her own family members until she was 17, and she didn’t kill herself. Everyone is going to go through stuff, whether it be emotional or physical, its up to us as human beings to either find a way to overcome it or play the victim role and just end your life. Life isn’t all flowers and sunshine, MAN UP!
DeleteCarlos Feliciano
ReplyDeleteIt’s so sad to see that so many kids have taken their own lives because of being teased and bullied. In a way I know that teasing and name-calling or whatever is sometimes just kids messing around with each other but when it reaches these extreme levels and becomes “deadly” there is a huge issue. I’ve always wondered if suicide due to bullying could actually count as murder. And some people say that having a bully “builds character” but I feel like it depends on ones patience and overall tolerance for others. When I was in elementary school kids called me names and whatever and yes it did aggravate me but I was able to find control and even now insults and names don’t faze me one bit. I’m not saying, “oh I did it soo these other kids can to” but I feel every person has a certain tolerance to bully’s. I’m glad here at SOTA we don’t have this ridiculous bullying problem (well at least I haven’t noticed yet) and honestly bullying isn’t going anywhere anytime soon and probably never, but I feel there should be better ways to mediate this issues because obviously our methods now aren’t working all that well.
Brianna Corbitt
ReplyDeleteIt is sad to know that bullying has gotten so bad that young kids are taking their own lives (and others in some cases.) Bullying can’t simply be defined by physical abuse anymore because some words can’t cut deeper. With the communication and technology changing ever so frequently, it does seem impossible to end the verbal abuse. Now it’s easy to label someone as a ‘whore’ or another defamation and have it all around the world within seconds, this has been made possible with phones and social networks. There is nothing wrong with communicating and social networks, however spreading rumors or speaking negatively about someone on Facebook, Twitter or anything of that nature is not okay. The worst thing about bullying is people will react to things differently and this is what causes controversy. Some people have a nonchalant attitude and they couldn’t care less about the thoughts of others. Others however, may be sensitive to certain topics such as their sexuality, physical appearance, weight etc. We must also consider the fact that we have no clue what other people have been through. If they have a traumatizing experience concerning something that they’re being bullied about it could really affect them more than the bully knows. Most bullies aren’t aware of the harm they could cause. In my opinion bullies tease other people when they feel incompetent in themselves.
I'm not sure how to phrase this in a way that hasn't already been stated. I mean, pretty sure everyone has already covered the "bullying is bad it hurts people" facts. Well, in any case, bullying is yeah bad and DUMB.
ReplyDeleteTo be serious once again, I feel that bullying is, and will, probably always be a large and complex problem for students. To be rather blunt, teenagers are probably some of the most harsh people that live. We are caught in a time of trying to figure out who we are, what school we want to go to, and being forced to answer what we want to do with our lives. We are highly critical of the generations both before and behind us, and more often than not, the most critical with each other. When we establish an opinion of someone, it's often hard to simply overturn it with a smile and a handshake.
Either because of hormones or the stress of deciding what to do with our lives in a few years (or mere months in our cases), we want to find other people like us. We want to find people who understand us, in a sense. But when someone challenges our views, we become sharp and critical. "We do not like that XXX, how could we like XXX, they're godawful! "
These people stand in our way, they challenge who we are and what we believe in. In a sense, it's kind of like a cold war: do I strike first, or do you? I would be lying if I said there were people I didn't like, or even downright hated, but I still respect what they have to say (usually).
I think that if people did take the time to get to know each other, even if they do believe in different cultures or religions or whatever it is they like/dislike, we can learn more about ourselves (usually what makes us tick, heh). But yeah, if we do try to at least get different perspectives, maybe we can see we actually do have something in common, and can be friends instead of wanting to kill each other.
hahaha alex what does this have to do with bullying
DUMB
I'M A BULLY AND I'M PROUD!!!! I don't care about bullies, because I was bullied, VIGOROUSLY and I managed. I stopped being the timid Nautica everyone was so comfortable with, and became edgy. I don't care what people think about me, how they feel about me, their views about me, or anything of the sort. I'm not about to go jumping off of bridges and killing myself. I have friends AT SCHOOL OF THE ARTS that tried to stay in the closet their 7th grade year, but weren't successful in hiding their true values. They were teased and called "faggots" and "gay" and "di*% suckers" but they prospered. They didn't kill themselves, and actually they're more gay- and-proud than ever before. People get bullied by people who allow them to bully them. If you stand up for yourself like I did when I was bullied, then the bullying will eventually stop. Of course everyone isn't like me, but they could try to treasure my values to stand up against bullying. I was kind of joking about the "IM A BULLY AND I'M PROUD" but then again I wasn't. I say whatever comes to my mind, whenever, and I dare people to comment on what I say. Everyone should have an opinion, and if you have a rebuttal after what I say then I might respect you more. I respect people who stand up for themselves against ignorant people, more than someone who just takes it or walks away. Nothing gets solved by walking away, or killing yourself. What doesn't kill you make you stronger, which allows you to live to fight another day (Willie jones voice from FRIDAY)
ReplyDeleteIn response to Nautica, I agree 100%, everyone has got bullied at one point in there life. Maybe not to the point where they decided to take it that far, but as a child everyone's gotten teased or picked on. People just handle things differently. I feel like you can't just ask for respect you have to TAKE it by standing up for youself. Letting people push you around is where youget bullied!
DeleteThank you! somebody understands. I'm not trying to be an asshole by acting like I don't care about these kids, because I might take the situation differently if I had someone directly in my family targeted by bullies, or killed themselves because of a bully. I wouldn't change my views about how I feel about standing up for ones self, but I might not be so tough on the situation. I honestly believe that if you don't stand up for yourself you deserve to get walked over. If you don't allow people to walk over you then they won't. You can't change what people say about you, because people will throw dirt on your name until you get dirt thrown on your face, but you can do SOMETHING to get people to view you in a different way so that you become less of a negative target.
DeleteI agree with you because your right everyone has been bullied once in their life. I been bullied but hey I'm still here standing here. I didn't kill myself like this other Children did. Yeah I'm going to lie, getting teased and made fun of hurts but you gotta suck it up and ignore the ignorance because at the end of day they don't do S**T for you. I like that you said "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" cause your right because I feel like I became a stronger person from my experiences. But at the same time people react to things differently.....Me and you didn't killed ourselves because people made fun of us... you probably just argued or cried or fought, or ignored it....I can't speak for you, I don't know how you reacted but the four kids who killed themselves probably couldn't handle it like you and I did. Everyone is different ad we all react in different ways. Some kids probably feel like standing up for themselves is just going to cause more problems and make the bullying worse. Me and you don't know what goes through these kids minds when they decide to kill their selves. Yeah your right people should stand up for their selves because killing yourself ain't going to do a damn thing but hey everyone reacts differently........
DeleteKeiosha Floyd
ReplyDeleteWith this article, It makes me very upset to even read something like this because I feel bullying is horrible and I’m totally against it because I been bullied a lot in my life about how I look, dress, and things that I do that no one would do. I’m very different and because of that people picked on me but it really didn’t phase me till one day someone hit that weak spot and that was my weight, and it still is a weak spot. I been called so many names throughout my life so when I see someone being bullied because they are different or over-weight really bothers me because the people who bully other people have low self-esteem about their selves and because they feel bad about themselves they got to make everyone else feel the same way. I can’t stand anyone who bully’s anyone cause it wrong and disrespectful and ANYONE WHO DOES IT I DON”T HAVE RESPECT FOR!!!!!! Many people have killed their selves because these bullies made those kids feel worthless and trust me I know how it feels because I been through many of times. I’m not saying it good to kill yourself because kids are bully you but at the same time people shouldn’t be making fun of people because they our original. People are so freaking ignorant this days and the sad thing adults are even doing it now and that’s a shame
Some can withstand being victimized to bullying and some can’t. Those that can’t, find themselves having a shitty life in high school. They will come across children with every walk of life and if your skin isn’t tough you’ll either do one of the two things: toughen up or kill yourself. People will only subject their selves to bullying for so long before they feel like they have to put matters into their own hands. People like Seth feel like taking their lives because of cyber bullying was the best decision to make. I’m not judging either way but that’s one of the deadliest sins, taking the life God gave you. On the flip side, some people like Leon Melson after getting bullied for so long he toughed up (a little). What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. People that bully come from envy and low self-esteem. I mean do you really want to be afraid of someone that hates their self? NNOOOOOOOOOoooo! At the end of the day you have a say in how you want to deal with being bullied. You can stand up for yourself or (I guess) kill yourself.
ReplyDeleteIn Response to Kennethea: I agree with you in a lot of ways. You’re right when you said “Some can withstand being victimized to bullying and some can’t” because it’s the truth. It’s sad that people make the choice to take the life that God gave has given to them and it upsets me that people don’t care and they are willing to be so mean to each other. I also agree with you when you said “People that bully come from envy and low self-esteem. I mean do you really want to be afraid of someone that hates their self? NNOOOOOOOOO!” because I do feel like people feel bad about themselves so they have to bring others down and the way you said it was kinda funny
DeleteBullying is wrong. People say it makes you stronger and tougher but if everyone is making fun of the same person that’s just making their life miserable. If one person says one things to you then ok you should be able to get over that but not when everyone’s tormenting the same kid about the same stuff. I think of bullying as someone intentionally hurting someone, physically or emotionally. I think having facebook does make bullying easier because u don’t have to tell everyone something they can just put it on their status and everyone will see it much quicker. Also I think bullying is way more severe in the suburbs where everyone has to have the right clothes and the right hair and you better not be to fat or you will get made fun off. They live in a world where if you don’t look live everybody else you get made fun of because your not normal. If everyone could just do their own thing and not worry about what other kids are doing and wearing and what they like then everyone’s life would be much easier. People should just worry about themselves and stop bullying others..if someone says one thing to you who cares just brush it off. But when it continues and other people are brought into it then that’s bullying. Most people don’t see how serious it is until it happens to them or someone they love.
ReplyDeleteIt kind of disgusts me to think of someone killing themselves because they we so bullied in school. I can't even imagine the pain they must have been in to do that to themselves. I think schools should have a bullying counselor specifically there for students so they can go to someone and get help before it gets to the point of suicide. The fact that kids have the need to say awful and hurtful things to others should really scare people. What kind of people are being raised in the world? Even though there are people who get bullied and don't kill themselves, they may not have been treated like the 4 boys who committed suicide. Seth Walsh was bullied since he was in the 4th grade. That's 4 years of torture for just being gay. People say that 'it's their choice to kill themselves' or 'you get stronger form being bullied' but that's not true ATTTTTTT ALLLLLLLL! Nobody knows how these kids felt after going through hell everyday.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Olivia when she says “Nobody knows how these kids felt after going through hell everyday.” No one really knows how these kids really feel or anyone in general. You know how people feel only when they tell you. If these children are in fear and to keep it to himself or herself, no one will know. Even if they did express their emotions you still don’t completely understand.
DeleteEvery one needs a person to talk to and let out his or her emotions but everyone does not have that. As Olivia said there should be a “bullying counselor” in every school. If I remember correctly, we had something like that but because of the budget cuts she was laid off.
Bullying is a cycle. For example, if a child is all as teased and made fun of by their parents, they are going to do the same thing to other children. When they grow up they are going to treat their own children the same way because that is how they grew up and they think that this is the “norm.” This is why “bad people” are in the world. They use the excuse of “ I’ve had a hard life”, everyone has.
This is the kind of people that are being raised in the world.
I think that people always misunderstand the concept of bully. Bully is a NATURAL part of life. It keeps order in the world and also teaches you when times get hard, don’t give up. I was bullied throughout my whole childhood because of my skin completion and my weight. Most of the bullying was from my own brother. Instead of letting the bullying bring me down, I let it make me stronger. I know don’t give a F*** about my skin color and am in the best shape of my life. Sure you can say bullying is wrong and only hurts people’s feelings, but it is just conflict. If you can’t deal with conflict then how do expect to do well in life. People don’t kill themselves because of bullies; they kill themselves because they don’t know how to deal with conflict. Honestly bullying has always been around and will always be around, so there is no point of trying to stop it. It’s human nature, SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST. It’s a dog eat dog world and you need to have a mindset that is going to be able to handle the trials that are going to occur. Like my mom always says, “what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger.”
ReplyDeleteThanks for that Leon. I totally agree with you. Even in nature bullying exists, so if people think it's just humans then their wrong. In nature animals that are genetically different or haven't adapted like the rest are usually shunned by their kind and for the most part are unable to find a mate. Suicide is an act of cowardice, and people should realize that they are always going to have problems in their life. Always running away and never confronting your problems isn't going to get you anywhere. I do feel sorry for them, yes, but there are others out there with even worse lives than yours. Killing yourself is just going to prove that you were as weak as the bully was making you out to be. So instead pick yourself up and focus that pain and anger into something that makes you stronger. -Roberto Rivera
DeleteJaniqua says: Reading this article makes me feel bad and kind of upset. It upsets me because of how bad bullying has got. It's bad to know that now when a kid is bullyed that they deal with it by themselves. It sucks that people get bullyed and it looks like they have nobody to turn to so that the bullyng can stop. It sickens me to know that a child can cause another child to take their own life because of the things that they have said or done to the person. No one should be forced or think about taken their own life because of someone else. It sucks how kids can do this to others and not even care how it makes them feel, or what it makes them do. It's not right how people can talk about others and spread rumors around to others to embarras them.
ReplyDeleteIn Response to Janiqua: I agree with you because this article upset me too. Bullying has become an epidemic in the last couple of years. It’s very sad and very upsetting that one child can cause another child to take their own live by the things they say and absolutely not care whatsoever. I also agree with you when you said that “they have no body to turn to” because they are targeted so much that they don’t really know who to turn to and if they can really trust anyone. I feel as if this problem wont go away unless we are the ones to stop it.
DeleteBullying is sadly one of those things that will never go away. It's a part of the culture of high school; the cliques, hierarchy and social interactions that kids have with each other on a daily basis. It's one of those things that intertwines itself without saying even within the adult world, and now that our country particularly has become very disconnected as far as being on the same accord since literally everyone has their own opinion on everything the task of ridding bullying among our young people will always be a struggle. The best way to address the issue at this point is to continue the many programs and campaigns that fight against bullying, and as a community work together to keep families informed of how serious the problem is by talking to them and making them aware of the direct affect that it's having on children and the direct affect that it can possibly have on theirs.
ReplyDeleteKaris says: I agree with you completely. Bullying not only happens in elementary schools but also in high school of course. It has become a part of the culture of high schools; the cliques and the social interactions with kids. I feel that some people in some of these cliques don’t even want to involve themselves as well as participate in the acts of harassing another person but they do to fit in. I agree that the best way to continue dealing with the problems is to proceed to do what they have doing already
DeleteThe sadism of middle school and high school kids continues to amaze me, no where else is there such an irresistible desire to fit in and the extent to which kids will go to . If someone is different from what is thought as normal, if someone is gay or bi for example, they are ostracized as being inferior or not popular. In regard to the stories where a teen is bullied until they commit suicide, I wonder how frequently and how severe the bullying was to push the victim to such extremes. I'm glad to see that Obama asked for an increase in antibullying programs but how well do these programs work in the first place? I think that no matter what is done, no matter how much money you throw at the problem, it will always be there, it's human nature, there will always be differences that people will exploit in terrible ways. Also because there is no clear definition to bullying people will always find new ways to hurt others as the recent development of cellphones and social networking has. I am glad to have spent my high school years at SOTA which, in my opinion, is the most tolerant school in Rochester.
ReplyDeleteits wired to see everyone commint on this saying its sad or wired but i do see where tom is coming from as in i think people woll alwasy say things in hurt full ways but i do not think bullying is what adults think it is so i dont like the fact that adults try to make laws on it i think think they need to here it from a "bullys" point a view to fullying understand
DeleteCarlos Felciano
DeleteIn response to Thomas, this is truly a sad situation that in the average elementary and middle school these kids spend so much time and effort to fit in with the crowd, and it seems this happens because many have this fear that if they’re not like everyone else they risk being picked on and bullied. I believe that this issue of bullying simply comes from peoples lack of tolerance of someone who is different, whether they are obese, gay, or whatever, and people just need to understand that just because they’re different doesn’t mean they are targets to attack.
Bullying is something that affects everyone, some worse that others. This has been the “hot topic” for quite some time now. Bullying happens everywhere and to anyone, no matter the age, gender, religious views nor race. These actions can hurt a person physically, emotionally and mentally and can drag on for the rest of their life.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the difference between bullying and just playing around? There is a fine line of what is just fun and games and something that would really hurt a person. When do people draw the line? The question is more when should people draw the line. Our society, and many others around the globe, considers this act of teasing to be common and it is part of life. Any person’s life should not be tormented by others just to create entertainment. They feel as if you can just say what is on your mind and it is ok because you are “being real” and “being yourself.” Is a person being themselves when they are yelling “Move it fatty” to a person who is insecure about their weight? Is a person “being real” by telling what is on your mind that would just cause damage to another? This is just being rude and not being considerate to other. Eventually someone is going to do it to them and they are going to complain about the cruel world and evil people who are just like them.
Since there is this fine line, I personally try not to do this. Yes I do tease certain people, but only the people who I am somewhat close too. I know limits that cannot be passed and I stay away from them. Teasing is just a way people interact with each other but people just take it overboard and cause damage.
DISCLAIMER: This will probably sound like the other three responses I will make. Everyone is more or less on the same page and I don't know what to say. :c
DeleteAnyway, LeeAna I agree with you on all of the statements. All of them. I also usually tease people, but only if I know that we are close and they know I am joking. Even then, I am still aware of when I am pushing the limit, and back off immediately with an apology. I think you are right that people do take it overboard, and should learn to know when/what the line is.
tl;dr: bullies need to calm dem tits
Chelse C.
ReplyDeleteReading this article saddens me. Four teenage boys took their own life because of bullying. These boys had their lives ahead of them, they were gonna go places and instead of their peers cheering them on they started rumors, said disrespectful things to them and about them and even physically threatened them. I strongly believe that bullying is a Huge Problem in the world today. In some states, if the child doesn’t put their hands on another child, they don’t consider it bullying because in order for someone to e considered a bully they have to “demonstrate harm and intent” and I think that’s ridiculous. In my opinion, I think that bullying is like a form of Cancer (hear me out on this). Cancer is a disease that affects not only us but our families, our friends and everyone around us. Cancer starts off small and is rarely undetected but eventually gets bigger and bigger to the point where it’s very apparent and if not treated properly, it can kill you. Just like how there’s different types of cancer; there’s different types of bullying. There’s verbal, physical, mental, and even cyber bullying. I believe (and this is me being me) that if a person has to bully someone else, I think that they feel so low about themselves and in order for them to feel good about themselves, they have to make someone else fell just as bad as they do or even worse.
Part Uno of Response:
ReplyDelete“In other words, for a bully to be a bully, he can't have just been any insensitive kid. He had to want to hurt his classmate.” Really? After a paragraph of rhetorical questions out comes this statement. “…He can’t have just been any insensitive kid.” Again, really? While I was trying to stay clear of subjectivity with this blog post, here I am again putting my two pence into the slots. I disagree. If you look up “insensitive” in a thesaurus (yes, I actually did this), here’s what you get:
insensitive
adjective
1 an insensitive bully heartless, unfeeling, inconsiderate, thoughtless, thick-skinned; hard-hearted, cold-blooded, uncaring, unconcerned, unsympathetic, unkind, callous, cruel, merciless, pitiless. antonym compassionate.
Maybe I over did this a tad, but you get the point. Insensitivity is one characteristic that a bully performs best; the two things go hand in hand. A bully “hurts his classmate” because he is insensitive to the way he’s making his victim feel. Good bullies, if there is such a thing are relentless in their actions because they sadly just don’t care at all about how the other person feels. If bullies were to care about their victims, and down the road many of them do, they wouldn’t be bullying others in the first place.
Look into the psychology of bullies, and you’ll find that there are many paths to becoming a bully. Yes, it might be because of insecurity, boredom, empowerment, etc. but it also might be because the bully has once been bullied themselves. Monkey see monkey do? How about monkey feel monkey become? Ok, well that example was also a bit of a stretch on my part, I think it holds true. An extreme example can be found in people who rape. Toni Morison’s plot was following truth when in The Bluest Eyes, she writes of Cholly’s own past extending into the horrific actions committed against his daughter, Pecola. (Enough with that topic though, I find the idea to be absolutely repulsive to begin with.) I guess my point is, someone who has been traumatized before (unless they receive the help they need), might continue the cycle that forms from the act of inception. I have heard stories where people who are extremely homophobic and who terrorize anybody who is GLBT (is that the correct acronym?), eventually realize or come to terms with the fact that they are also GLBT. Look into Freudian psychology too. I’m definitely not an expert by any means, but I feel like the concept of displacement follows similar ties. Just like with religion, I feel that people are absolutely cruel to other people when they realize the other person is anything less than acceptable in their eyes.
I also agree that technology has definitely made the act of bullying easier. How cowardly I find it that people actually say horrible things to others online. I mean it certainly isn’t any better to bully someone in person, but it makes the ramifications for bullying a lot easier. You lack the face-to-face time that might have caused you to hold back, saying what you should have probably never thought of to begin with. But, ehh, call this imperfection if you will. I digress.
keep reading second half if you want.... I was over the character limit, so I had to split the post in two! ;P
DeletePart Duo:
ReplyDeleteI think the article has really hit a chord with me because many people I love so dearly are gay or lesbian. I don’t know how I would respond if my Uncles killed themselves over being bullied, I know for certain I would feel absolutely devastated. I would take their two children, his son, who’s African American, and their beautiful daughter, whose mixed with Hispanic and Caucasian (?) and hide them from the world and the sorrow. I wouldn’t want them to grow into the pain they feel. When we read an article like this one, we really need to be sensitive to how big a problem bullying is. I don’t think it’s right to just dismiss the issues, because they really are serious. Bullying takes people’s lives. Lives. Life. Death. Life. Lives. So, yeah, you might say. “I already see people dying everyday on the news, why should I care?” Well you should, and I find it really sad that people don’t. Don’t desensitize yourself simply because you hate to feel the pain it causes you. Connect loss to you personally, and step into somebody’s shoes other than your own. It takes a lot of courage to look straight into another person’s eyes and realize your reflection isn’t the only thing that bounces back into your vision.
Lastly, I know I’m not perfect either. I’ve done some really shitty stuff to people. I have also hurt people, because I too have also been hurt. It takes a lot to realize you’re wrong and step above it all. I know a lot of people feel on top of the world after they’ve just harassed someone, but honestly I just feel like shit afterwards. I’m glad to say that I’ve grown up a little bit enough by now to realize my mistakes. Point blank, hurting other people hurts you too. I also honestly think that hating others is a waste of time. After all you put so much of yourself into the other person you seemingly despise anyways. You think about all the qualities they possess that you hate, you talk about how much you hate them behind their back (despite calling yourself not a fake person), you act out against them, etc. Puh-lease! If you’re going to go through all the effort to constantly think about how much you hate someone, then all your effort might just as well go into loving them. I mean seriously. If a person isn’t worth your time, why are you giving yourself the time to even think about him or her. (I believe that there is a better way to handle all of this. When you don’t care for a person because of how crappy they treat other people, above all be respectful to them, but give them nothing more of yourself then the common courtesies. Harsh, but I’m making a point. Anyways, I digress yet again…)
If hating people and loving people are just the same amount of work, then here’s my rhetorical question for you all... Isn’t one more worth it than the other? (Like the article I’m not expecting anyone to answer this question, but if you care to, I’d love to hear what you have to say. I just ask that you please be respectful of my opinions, and regardless I’ll be respectful to yours. Danke!)
Oh... I would love to read someone who answers my question other than just replying "because it's fun." I honestly wouldn't do much if you did because if that's really how you feel well, ok. However, if you really cared at all about what I posted (or read the long tangent that took way too much time then it should have taken), then I would love to hear an honest and sincere answer. Grazi!
ReplyDeleteI'll be honest, I read MOST of your post. I skimmed some of the words, but I feel like I got what you were saying. You know me pretty well, and you know I have a knack for getting under people's skin and that I have a pretty terrible mean streak once I get going,so I'm not claiming any sort of immunity. I have been a bully to some people. That being said I will make my post. If you've ever really laid into someone you can tell when the line has been crossed, because if you aren't a bully you'll see that this person is genuinely disheartened and you will either stop, or backpedal and apologize. I agree with the fact that tech has made bullying easier, because it has removed the personal experience where you can see visibly on a person when the line and when you remove that you ability to become insensitive is amplified and you can bully a person to something as terrible as suicide. And another point I agree with is that insensitivity IS bullying. You are responsible for the words that come out of your mouth, and if it hurts someone to that a point so severe then you deserve the guilt you should be feeling. Now beyond the blurry line of "what is and isn't bullying" (which I still feel is a case to case issue that you can't truly set a rule to) is the obvious bullying, which is terrible. When a person speaks ill or does something with no provocation in order to hurt another against that person's consent is not excusable by any means. How does the old saying go? Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will emotionally scar me? Damage on the mind is heavier than any other damage, and coming from an elementary school where I was bullied I can tell you its left its mark. I have a higher guard than most, I have a large array of combative words that I will use without a moments warning, and I have developed a rather unbecoming skill set as a destroyer of character that I learned specifically to ward of bullies. Have I ever used that against people that might not have deserved it? Yes. Do I regret it? Of course. Is the internet a tempting place to do that? Yes, due to the ease of access and the anonymity. Its easy to lash out at people you will never meet and thus never have to truly confront. What's even more disgusting is when people do that as a way to CONSTANTLY tear at a person, making nowhere safe. Someone who was bullied 10 years ago would at least have a place where he/she wouldn't have to here it, but now its everywhere. Sorry going off on a rant. Only thing I think I disagree with is the news desensitization. Honestly, I take a moment to ponder the loss of this person, but I thinks its less of the "not my problem" mentality and more of the "I wish I could mourn, but I can't" mentality. I feel that most just lack the emotion capacity to feel bad for a kid they never knew. I know I do. I feel a sense of tragedy when I see it on the knew, I shake me head, make a comment of how horrible it is, maybe ask where the adults wear if it's a really bad case but then I find it hard to go any further than that because I just simply don't have a connection to this person, and I don't think that makes me any worse of a person. *Publish*
Deletehear*
DeleteI don't think it is always as easy to "love" a person as it is to "hate" them. With the human being's obsession with the physical form, it is often easier to pick out "flaws" than it is to see beauty. Even things that aren't physical, but that have a more solid foundation in the perceptions that our brains are often easier to pick out than where beauty and love can come from. For instance, it is easy to look at a person and, because of their appearance and our automatic assumptions based on what we see, and have a premature idea of what this person is, how they think, feel, what they have experienced, what they know and love. But it is harder to have a conversation with somebody and get inside their head enough to understand (to a certain extent) what this person is, how they think, feel, what they have experienced, what they know and love. I think this gets easier as a person spends enough time in a certain state of mind where there are no premature perceptions of anything, until a certain level of truth is realized, comprehended, resolved... Or as John Coltrane put it: "Acknowledgement, Resolution, Pursuance, Psalm". After enough time spent thinking and feeling like this, it becomes more natural, I think. To respond to your second to last paragraph... the universe is made up of vibrations. Everything is vibrations. The universe, the galaxy, the solar system, the earth, us - the people, the air, the ground, water, music, art, speech - these things are all vibrations. Also made up of vibrations: ideas. This is me trying to step outside of the human's obsession with the physical form. The ground is just like ideas, in that they are made up of and create vibrations. The universe is made up of vibrations. Ideas are vibrations. When you have an idea, you are expanding the universe. Think of the beautiful things that are alive in the universe right now because of love. Why the hell would you (not specifically YOU, but "you" in general) consciously create any type of vibrations that is the opposite of this beauty?
DeleteI read that in one sitting and oh god where do I start
DeleteAnyway, like Zach said, I agree that technology has made bullying far more simple. Honestly, sometimes I look on Facebook and read other people's status and can't help but to feel... disheartened, I guess. These people (a few of them even family at that >_>) seem to think that what they post on there is for THEIR eyes alone; that it's their Garden of Eden and they can post whatever without consequence. But other people DO see it, they do see you attacking other people, and some even feed into it to with "#U GO GIRL SHOW DAT NIQQA" (also let me take the opportunity to say I hate everyone who replaces "g" with "q" because that is just plain stupid and I will shut up now).
At times I even feel like responding and telling them off for the fact, but I can't bring myself to, as it would only continue to feed into the bullying cycle.
Anyway, tangent aside, I too have to admit I have been a bully to other people. Heck, I may even be bullying people due to that “q” comment. It makes me feel horrible inside to think about it, but I guess I really do have a double standard in terms of bullying: I despise bullying with a passion as I have seen what it’s done to friends and people like Clementi on the news. It’s sickening, and yet I still do it in a sense. Even though I make no verbal indication of it whatsoever, it’s the little things that go through my mind. “Wow hahaha what a total bitch, what is even is this bullshit I am hearing, why are some people so dumb asdfghjkl;’”. Even though I don’t say these things allow, I’m still bullying these people from a more mental standpoint, I guess? And while it has yet to hurt anyone, it’s still putting a negative light on these people, and if they were said, it could be disastrous.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that while bullying is horrible, and should be stopped, I don’t think it ever will, because we all hold opinions of others. Even if we do not make them known at times, they still exist in our mind, and give us the potential to be the very bullies we wish to stop. Which in my opinion, is a pretty horrible reality. :/
Also, on your rhetorical question, I agree with Matt in that loving is harder. It’s easy to dislike someone for a particular trait you do not take fancy to, and significantly harder to accept them with this trait, as they are for who they are.
And on Matt’s point about the vibrations in the universe, it’s the same principal as Newton’s Third Law: “For every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction.” As long as love exists, hate will be there, even if it’s not announced or acted upon, as long as we have opinions, some of our idiosyncrasies make hate something we cannot be rid of.
Dear Alex,
DeleteWhile I have been asked to not to post again, I really loved your last paragraph, so I couldn't resist. I have actually often thought about the idea you brought up. I admire that you brought up Newton's Third Law, because I've never thought about applying this scientific principle to the topic. What a interesting perspective!
I have also thought a great deal about what your brought up, time and again. Using the image of the ying and yang, I personally believe that we have love to see hate, and we have hate to see love. I believe that for many of us, we need the unification of two complete opposites, to make our sphere, our world, more clear. Like Plato's Allegory of the Cave, we don't know what's really tangible and real until we have made a trip to see the other side. Reading what you wrote, well I've said it before, was refreshing. Thank you for your comment.
-Leah
delete first sentence in second paragraph.... I basically said the same thing that I typed in the first paragraph. haha.. ;P
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DeleteReading this article brings tears to my eyes. To think these four young men would take their lives over something such as bullying saddens me. Just because these people may not look the way you think they should look or act the way you think they should act or even believe in what you think they should believe in gives you NO right to bully them. Some people feel its Okay to say what ever they want to people, i mean hey they're not putting their hands on them so whats the harm right ? What these people fail to realize verbal bullying and cyber bullying is just as bad as physical bullying. For you to hurt someone and feel okay about it is mind blowing to me. What do you get out of making others feel like crap , so crappy about themselves that they take their own lives .. someone loses a son or daughter over your "fun and games".
ReplyDeleteI agree with Elexus. Bullying is becoming overrated. Children are losing their lives over rude comments children are making. Most people in our society don’t realize the smallest things can trigger someone to feel insecure. Rather it’s been a joke or not. I agree that verbal and cyber bullying is just as bad as physical. I think the reason why bullying is getting worse is because people say things not realizing how they affect others. I think if people stop talking about each other and giving negative feedback bullying could be stopped. Being realistic will they? The answer is NO so we need to try to help others find a way to tell someone about the issue before they get to a stage of taking their life.
DeleteElexus you are so right! Bullying someone over the internet is just as bad it could even be worse. Even though bullying never will stop wich is really sad. We need to have more organizations that help kids to beleive in themselves no matter what people say.
DeleteBullying in school is a serious matter. It affects so many children in ways
ReplyDeletethat arent and cant be explained. When a kid is bullied it hurts them on a
level that can't be explained. Not only can it hurt a kid mentally and physically , but severely scar them emotionally. There are alot of things that can go terribly wrong with this. Like in the article when the poor terns commit suicide. Or even worse when the shoot up there school like in the "columbine incident " Most people don't ever notice until it's far to late. When a persons past their breaking point it's to late. Alot of kids usually don't speak up because of pressure placed on them by the bullies or ect. Some hold it in and others speak out. Although I feel many anti-bullying campaign come at kids in the wrong way. They might push the kids into a corner. Bullying is just flat wrong and shouldn't happen. But it still does all over. We have to take it upon ourselves to stop in the act. Be nice :)
I think it is ironic that during one of the most crucial times in a brain's developmental periods is the time where a person will be exposed to some of the worst experiences in their life. Elementary, Middle and High school are undoubtedly one of the most important periods in a persons life because the brain is at an essential developmental state during this time. This is also the time that a person could potentially be exposed to some of the worst times in their life. I know a person who is one of the strongest human beings I have ever met. Not that she necessarily has a hard life , but she just seems SOLID... that nothing really affects her too much. The other day her daughter told me a story that her mother saw her “arch nemesis” from her high school days, and FROZE. This person treated her so horribly during an essential time in her brain's development that she couldn't handle even seeing her. As adults, if my friends' mother had been bullied by this other woman, I don't think it would affect her as much as it did during this time in their lives. I think this is why bullying has such a drastic effect on people during this time in their lives. It's hard to define what bullying is. I think it's probably different for everybody, depending on what their mental state is, what they have previously been exposed to etc. For instance a little remark made to or about somebody might just pass by unnoticed or unacknowledged by somebody who is mentally stable, is generally content with the world around them, and who hasn't been exposed to as much bullying as others. This same remark, however, could be made to or about somebody who isn't as mentally stable, and has endured more bullying than they can handle and have such a drastic effect on them that they might go over the edge. I don't know what, if any, solutions are really available to this problem except awareness. Maybe if people are aware of the hazards of messing with a persons head during this particular state of development in the brain, then there would be less bullying going on. At the least a more effective way to handle it when it is being executed could then be developed.
ReplyDeleteEliana Santana
DeleteIn response to Mathew…It all depends, that’s very true Mathew. What counts as bullying depends on the type of relationship the persons have, what they did, and the type of person the intended victim is. A bully can be a good friend gone bad or a random person who jus decided to pick on you or anything more. The range of type of hurt inflicted is wide. Something from constant name calling to something like editing a picture to offend someone can count as bullying now. Also, if the person is particularly sensitive, an offensive look may be enough to derail their whole day. On the other hand, someone may jus react indifferently or stand up for themselves.
It is very sad that a lot of kids last year lost their life to bullying. It is a shame that our country has to spend so much money to prevent bullying. Many students may bully others because the other person has what they want or the bully himself might be going through some things at home. This doesn't make it okay especially seeing the effects bulling has on children nowadays.I believe that the rate of suicide for bulling is so high because some people are not totally familiar with what bulling really is. There are many types of bulling such as verbal, physical , indirect ...etc. Many children are not aware of something so small as talking about someones hair or shoes in a negative way is a form of bullying. We are all human and we all have talked about someone in a negative way before. Sometimes we could just be playing or joking around but not everyone see’s it from that point of view. Someone might be insecure about what you said and it could possibly hurt their feelings. I think if people focused more on explaining all details and signs of bullying the rate would hopefully drop.
ReplyDeleteBullying is very hard to define. Before bullying was just taking your lunch money or throwing your books in the middle of the hallway in front of everyone. Now the effects of bullying are much more severe and can literally haunt you. As i'm sure everyone knows sexting can really get you caught up. If you and that boy break up or have an argument he's always going to have dirt on you. He may even threaten posting the pictures if you dont stay with him. Is this considered bullying? He's not putting his hands on you. If she jumps off a bridge is the guy considered a murderer even though he didn't "physically" push her off the bridge? And those pictures will always be somewhere on the web. You can't become president with naughty photos floating around.
ReplyDeleteBullying is a horrible thing that pushes some people past their breaking point but some people live through it and become stronger from their experience. I know my bullies taught me that no matter how nice you are someone will always have something to say about you. So I dont smile in everyone's face anymore. I keep to myself and choose my friends wisely, but I feel like that's a lesson we all learn sooner or later.
In response to Shayla:
Delete"Bullying is a horrible thing that pushes some people past their breaking point but some people live through it and become stronger from their experience. I know my bullies taught me that no matter how nice you are someone will always have something to say about you."i agree with your standpoint! its so true that bullying is a terrible thing! So many tragedies have come out of this! But then again it teaches a lesson and makes us stronger people! Yes bullying still needs to stop it gets worst and worst throughout the years. The government should have everyone enforce this!
-Amanda
Marissa Santana
ReplyDeleteIt is very sad to have to read this article about four young children killing their selves because of someone else bullying them. Too see what bullying has gotten too now a days is crazy just to imagine when it is time for all of us to have our kids attend school how the heck will bullying be then. These are not the only four people that have gotten bullied and have committed suicide there are many girls that have done the same thing. I believe that a person is only a bully so that they can make their self look better around others. By them picking out the little things on other people they are not having the time to look at the negatives of their own lives. Many bullies are who they are because other people have done the same thing to them or because they have something that they don’t like about their own life so they don’t want all of the attention to be on them. If someone wants to be gay so be it don’t judge them because they were not judging you. If someone is overweight or they have some type of problem you should go up to them talk with them, see what kind of person that they really are. You never know you might become best friends with that person. Instead of us continuing with this terrible cycle of bulling we should be the bigger people and STAND UP and support anti-bullying programs. If we don’t want it to happen to us or a love one then keep your thoughts to yourself. LETS BE THE SOLUTION NOT THE PROBLEM!!!!
I agree with you because it is sad that four young kids killed themselves because of the bullies they had to deal with on the daily bases. It's sad that these children got to the point that they would be scared to even walk home or they would hide in school. And your right when you say that you shouldn't be judged because your gay or because you are original. I feel like a person should be able to express their selves in anyway they would like they express their selves. We do need to STAND UP and support these programs that support anti-bullying.
DeleteEliana Santana
DeleteIn response to Marissa … You bring up a good point. It’s very sad to have to read this about bullying. It hurts our hopes of giving our future children a happy life. If its so bad that such young people are taking their lives to not live through it in 2012, than how much worse will it be by the time we have our children? She’s very right. School should not be a place to be scared, it shouldn’t be a hell. All sorts of people are in a building to learn. The educational process shouldn’t be disturbed by social disequilibrium. If anything, who knows what a diferent person may hold. Maybe they really can be a nice addition to your life. Why have yourself be remembered as a problem starter and hurtfull person? Marissa shows a great example of contributing to the solutions and never to the problems.
Eliana Santana
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to bullying I dont really know what I should say. Im on both sides, I'm pretty sure I've been mean before and I've been ridiculed. I also believe that some poeple just do things that are dumb and they should just think before they act. Why would a girl even let herself get into a conversation about giving oral sex with a boy? You know? Sometimes poeple set them selves up and then complain. But on the other hand, their just lacks a moral in many people to respect other human beings. Anything that doesnt fit in, as in, doesnt fit the norm of the environment already set, will be scrutinized. What is racism? A human's color and culture labels their value on their skin. Kids need to be taught from home that they will come across very different people than them, who may not speak their language correctly, or not understand who they are yet. Sadly that jus doesnt happen too often. I know parents who tell their children not to talk to black people, or gay poeple, or people with a turban on their head. For school, teachers need to set the environment of respect and family in their classrooms. Im sorry and I apologize for those troubled young people who think they own shit. Remember that these times are only temporary, youll grow and hopefully learn and make yourself a better person than your peers projected. I mourn with the families and friends who lose someone to suicide. It's sad when a human sees no other way to stop hurting and to deal with their problems than to not exist anymore. But who knows what's on the other side? What if the pain follows you? Let's please try to uplift people instead of intimidating them. A person's life only comes around once so why make it worse while their here. I love seing people smile.
Firstly, bullying is a barbaric, primitive behavior that shows very clearly how far we have come as a species capable of higher thinking. The underdeveloped frontal lobe of a teenager is full of opportunity for social shortcomings, and there’s no good reason to destroy someone because of them because they will grow out of them. And then if they don’t’ by then we’re all mature enough to handle the things said to or about us, bringing me to my second opinion: I feel that suicide is such a cop-out. I feel terribly sorry for anyone who feels like dying, because I’ve been there. A lot. And I know people who have been there, and I would hate to think how many friends we would’ve lost if we all just went and died whenever we had the notion. Now, I’m no stranger to snubbing a person or teasing or even mildly bullying someone myself, but I just don’t have the time or capacity to hate someone enough to ruin their life. I’m also no stranger to being bullied. You know what I did, though? I learned how to kick someone half to hell if they provoked me to do so, and then made it common knowledge. You know what happened? No one died, firstly. I learned how to fight (in theory, of course, because I’ve never actually had to,) thereby learning how to defend myself against further bullying. My bully learned that not everyone that looks vulnerable is easy to beat down. And people learned to respect me as a fellow human being. I think that the overall idea shouldn’t be that people should put forth such a great effort to eradicate bullying, but rather that people should learn to adapt. We are in an era where public image is more important than actual beliefs and actions, hell, most of us are afraid to say what we mean or do what we want for fear of judgment. If we learned to be less afraid, and freer, then wouldn’t the issue sort itself out? How can you bully someone who is able to fight back, or able to shrug it off, or able to withstand judgment long enough to truly prove themselves? Nothing is too hopeless to survive, unless what you are facing is certain death (AIDS, last stage cancer, life in prison, death sentence, murderer in your room…) or one of those extenuating circumstances in which euthanasia is considered (post-op lobotomy patients, and other assorted vegetables.) I’m not even going to address the gay aspect thing because it’s a different circumstance than standard bullying, because it attacks who a person is as a person. Here you have a teenager, predisposed to being vulnerable, who is gay, and thereby at least 50% more vulnerable than normal, grappling with confusion and whatever else gay people deal with, (and I use the word “gay” to describe a gay person in the most benevolent of tones, as one might describe a hot dog as a hot dog, or a diamond as a diamond. Anyone who knows me knows that I have absolutely no qualms concerning the gay population) and then a bully slaps them dead in the face with exactly what they fear most, which is being viewed as a bad or defective person because of a completely non-harmful deviance from “the norm.” That’s all I’m going to say, because it’s clear enough not to need extrapolation.
ReplyDeleteIn short, I disagree with the general consensus, and believe that if we encourage the weak, they can overcome the strong, as opposed to encouraging the strong to stfu.
Also, I'd like to establish and bring attention to the parallel between war on bullying and war on terrorism. Largely futile. Statement.
DeleteBullying in my mind will is and will always be an omnipresent thing in the world it’s something that even present in nature, because everybody has problems and nobodies life is perfect and the feeling of inadequacy and/or struggle is what makes you either hurt yourself or someone else mentally or physically. I am in no way saying that it is okay just that it is very difficult if not impossible to stop, projecting your insecurities and short comings on another being in a negative way is never okay. When it comes to person feeling so beaten down emotionally that they feel compelled to kill themselves on the other hand I am very firm on where I stand, it is complete and utter bull- You the victim are letting them win, you are saying admitting to them and yourself that "I am the worthless piece of space they say I am why live?", and I do not agree with your decision. Yes, I feel bad for your situation, but how can feel for a person who gave up on themselves this person is a complete contradiction to "what doesn't kill you, can only make you stronger" Clearly it didn’t cause you (victim) decided to up and jump off a bridge. Rise up; redirect your angst and sadness somewhere else, exact revenge. Make an effort to live, and I’ll make an effort to help you do so. Personally in my situation I take it as insult, I struggle, I cry, I hurt, and yet I have to get up and continuing living why shouldn't you. You’re only the victim if you let yourself be one.
ReplyDeleteRoberto supports this statement one-hundred percent! Bullying is something that is even present within nature, and something that people are going to have to learn to deal with and overcome. Suicide is perhaps the greatest act of cowardice. Those that commit such a heinous act are forever running away from their problems, never confronting them. If your life meant anything at all to you then you'd perhaps do anything and everything to maintain it, even if that means swallowing up your pride and asking someone for help. Losing your pride is a much better outcome than losing your life. So instead of telling the strong to stop the bullying, instead we should tell the weak to step it up. -Roberto Rivera
DeleteAMAHTALA SAYS This was disturbing to read because I wish there was a way you could reach out to people like that and let them know they hheirself isnt they answer. I think we've all been bullied, talked about, picked on to some extent. I know I have, and I didn't harm myself in anyway. Maybe because it was how I was raised that the fact that I love myself too much. I guess it all just depends on the person and how much they could take.
ReplyDeleteAs far as bullying I think childern/teenagers need to just learn to take a stand for themselves. Or just not let it get to them, reach out to someone for help. Someyhimv but its sad too see that they take it as far as killing themselves just because of what people,so or say to them. I know the feeling of being bullied and not having friends etc. But I always looked at the bigger picture.
Exposing people and putting there business out is on a totally different level. People that could do that have no respect for themselves, like if someone wanted people to know they were gay or whatever the case may be don't you think they let it be known. But since they didn't what gives anyone the right to just put someone personal information out there. I don't understand that.
This is a good topic and it makes me want to watch what I say to people or how i didn't talk about people to my friends cause it could be considered bulling. But on the other hand...some of these kids deserve to get talked about smh.
I agree with amahtala people should stand up for themselves. everyone has been bullied or talked about and harming yourself is not the answer. bullying sad to say is gonna be around for forever. if everyone that has been bullied killed themselves there would be no one left in the world. (so to speak) . I disagree when (amahtala) says that some people should be talked about. NO ONE should be talked about no matter how nasty, ugly,dirty they are. people will anyways but nobody is anybody to judge somebody. (lOl) we all have flaws and would we wanna be picked on about our own imperfections. No we all knows how it feels and its wrong.
DeleteIt really is something terrible when a kid thinks that the best thing to do is to end their life because some butt wipe decides to bully them. Why do people do this to one another? I can't believe someone could hate a person enough to drive the victim into killing themselves because of what gender they choose to love. I keep hearing that authority figures cannot do anything about those being cyber bullied because no physical harm has been done, but torturing someone emotionally or verbally is just as bad. There are so may cases just like these that could have been avoided if someone, anyone stepped in and stood up for the little guy. The sad part is, there will probably never be a solution because no matter how many people say they care, their actions say they don't.
ReplyDeleteKaris says: I agree with you completely. I think people Bully honestly because they might not have what the other has. Or they could be having something going on at home or they might just not get enough attention at home as well so they end up being a problem child at home. It’s so sad that people can be that cruel to one person. I wonder what the bully’s thoughts are once they find of that the person they bullied committed suicide all because they harassed them. I agree with you say that there will probably never be a solution to this form of abuse.
Deletei completely agree with justice when she says "There are so may cases just like these that could have been avoided if someone, anyone stepped in and stood up for the little guy.". If someone , anyone would just stand up and do whats right things like this could possibly be avoided. No this problem will probably never fully go away but by standing up you can make a difference in someones life with out even knowing how much of a difference you made.To say "they shouldve stuck up for themselves" is very ignorant to me. If someone uploads a video on the internet how are you to take up for yourself ? sometimes its out of the persons control.
DeleteShymel Hardy
ReplyDeleteWhether an individual is bullied or taunted once or twice, the effects are relatively the same. The information I’ve read in this article is unquestionably disconcerting but, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard about or witnessed someone being bullied. Like many of us, I’ve been a victim of bullying whether it was verbal (one on one or in front of a crowd), behind my back (but I heard about it) or cyber. Bullying and its effects have been taken to another level in these days and like the TIME Magazine article reads, “At least bullies of previous decades had to hold you down before they could spit in your face”. If one decides to simply “brush it off”, it doesn’t make it right and if one decide to harm themselves or others … it only makes the situation worse. I can’t say that people like Seth are crazy for taking their life because; I haven’t been taken to that point before. Ironically, our blog yesterday was about religion and in many religions, taking your own life is a sin but, for these kids; desperate times caused for desperate measures. There have been numerous anti-bullying programs held in schools and communities across the world but, unfortunately the problem is unlikely to ever be completely resolved. There are many things that “we the people” can do to prevent these problems but for many us, our normal day life routines go on and may get in the way as the conflicts escalate. According to the article, “…for a bully to be a bully, he can't have just been any insensitive kid. He had to want to hurt his classmate”. This statement is agreeable unfortunately but, I can only hope for the best and wish that the conflicts be resolved. If more of us stand up to bullying ... WE CAN DEFEAT IT!
I agree with Shymel. The fact that we have soo many technological advantages has changed the way kids have been bullied. Back then, bullying relied on someone plotting to "get back" at someone else. They were forced to physically go up to someone and bully them, either verbally of physically. When it comes to the suicide aspect of things, kids do what they feel they need to do. It may be a very drastic move, but when your thoughts are in the wrong moment it can effect soo many things. Also it is hard to put bullying to an end, and it will probably take a lot for it to stop completely.
DeleteI agree with shymel also. this bulling thing is nothing new. Its too and its happening but it is. people can try as much as they want to prevent but it will never stop. many social networks such as facebook, myspace and twitter has contributed to how fast things can spread around the world and how everyone can access them. i have been bullied in a way i guess you can say but i feel that it is individual that can change things. Some have low self esteem where they believe what people think and say about them which does drives themselves to depression or even suicide. I just feel that each individual should stand up for themselves. and if they are being bullied take a stand and reach out.
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ReplyDeleteBullying can be a very hard thing for a child to go through. However, as cruel as this may sound suicide is the coward's way out of it. I understand that I may get a lot of backlash for this, but first you have to understand where I'm coming from. I view people that have committed suicide as nothing more than murderers. Instead of taking someone else's they took their own life, simply because they thought there was no other way and thought they had such a horrible life, when there are people out their that are being sold across countries as modern slaves. The audacity! I can't imagine anything that could justify the taking of s life, whether your own or someone else's, besides self-defense I guess. Life is such a very precious thing that God gave to us, and to squander that so easily without a second thought is just unforgivable. Sorry, but maybe they really were weak if they gave the bully that much control over them that they took their own life. Some of you might be thinking that I'm only saying this because I haven't been there, well yes I have. I've been bullied in the past, and through a combination of that and things I was going through at home I felt so alone and so deep in depression I took a total of sixteen pills, from twelve aspirins to six of my father's high milligram pills that he takes for things like anxiety, and PTSD. Obviously, I survived, and without having to go to the hospital either. The worst I felt was somewhat queasy, and that ended after like a half-hour or so. My body has always been like that, I can't explain how. I once stepped on a piece of glass in the backyard of my new house (don't ask), it pierced a main artery and I bled heavily. By the time I was taken to the emergency room the doctor noted that I was already healing. A week later and there wasn't even a scar. Not trying to act like I'm superhuman or anything, just stating the facts whether you believe me is your choice, something that I can't influence. Anyway, I fully and wholeheartedly regret that I even thought about committing such a heinous act and I'll never be able to take it back. Sometimes we just have to learn how to deal with bullying, like I learned. I have a black-belt now, and could handle myself in any fight if need be, and if someone does tease me, I usually just ignore it, laugh it off, or say something smart back with a smile on face. Trust me, it works! I've gotten through very tough spots by doing this, and I realize now that sometimes when people tease you it may be because they want to test what you'll say back. I've made quite a bit of lasting and good relationships surprisingly just because I had the courage to stick up for myself. I wish there could be a world without insensitivity, but the reality is everyone will go through it to some extent sooner or later. People shouldn't be so ready to take their lives though, try other things, and people should also be more ready to give help when they see someone in need. We have to make the first steps toward making humanity better, and perhaps starting here with bullying, is the best place to start. -Roberto Rivera
ReplyDeleteResponse to “ Greece”
Delete-JaQuana Watkins
I agree that suicide is a coward’s way out. Everyone has problems nobody’s life is perfect. However I think that people in school should teach children how to love themselves, and value life. Most people who commit suicide is in a very bad mental state to the point where they don’t value their own life. They don’t think about people who are being sold as slaves, or starving children in Africa. All they see is their problems. I want people to learn how to look at the good. My former strings teacher here at SOTA committed suicide. Now I will be the first to admit the hell us strings students put her through, myself included. I mean people will talk about her clothes, ability to teach, how she had no life etc. I mean yeah she went through a bit much, but nothing will justify her suicide. Like I stated everyone has problems. Now that u tried to commit suicide and survived you are an example of bullies affects. I think you judge the kids who went through with it very very harshly. If the pilss would have been to much for your system you wouldn’t have a statement on this blog because you would be where they are. ( No offense.) But I applaud your ability to overcome being bullied. I also note that sometimes when you smile and say something bck it can still hurt you inside your just not letting it show. I believe the cures to bullying are self-love, appreciation of life, speaking up, and sticking together.
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ReplyDeleteWhen I read this article I had mixed emotions about it.I felt like it was sad. I feel like bullying will never stop in this world simply because that's just life I guarantee you that it's been happening for centuries. I'm not saying that bullying is a good thing because it's not. When you normally see people get bullied the person that's normally getting bullied has low self esteem. Not all of them but most of them. I also feel like bullying is more verbal now of days than physically. I have never been bullied before so I can't mention how it truly feels. I've witness people get bullied before and it's not a pretty site of course but I feel like it's just life. Only the weak people get bullied and only the strong survive. I feel if all the people that get bullied stood up for themselves and actually had the courage to tell to leave the bully to leave them alone the bully wouldn't bother them anymore. Now obviously it'll have to be in a convincing way. I'm not saying result to violence but I go by Malcolm X theory "By any means necessary." Do whatever it takes to get your point across. I feel like they'll have no choice but to respect that. The people that are getting bullied are like sheep and the people that do the bullying are like wolves. You have to be a wolf in this world in order to survive, not saying you have to be a bully but you have to be strong. Should bullying stop ? of course. Will it ever stop ? I highly doubt it.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Calvin:
Delete“I feel if all the people that get bullied stood up for themselves and actually had the courage to tell to leave the bully to leave them alone the bully wouldn't bother them anymore.” I feel that sometimes people aren’t strong enough to stick up for themselves and they need that extra help. That’s where we all are supposed to come in. Yes, its life however it’s a part of life we all want to stop! Bullying is not right and should never be taken lightly because look at the different tragedy’s they have created!
-Amanda Crespo
Bullying is a huge issue in schools throughout the world. I feel that the majority of the States are doing all they can to prevent bullying from happening, but its almost impossible to stop it, with all the advancements in technology. After reading this article, I feel bad for the parents who lost their children, but I don't feel that the children's actions were justified. Everyone has been bullied, or made fun of, its a part of life. I've probably heard everything negative a person can say about me, but I've never considered ending my life because of it. People are naturally cruel, and we are all judgmental to a certain extent. I feel that you just have to suck it up, and be strong enough mentally to not let everything get to you. I don't agree with people exposing other people, but I don't think suicide is the best option.
ReplyDeleteI slightly disagree and agree with you. I do agree that the children who do get bullied could find other ways to deal with it. But I also feel that sometimes you can be bullied in a way that can create thoughts that lead to suicide. I have never had these thoughts because I’ve never been bullied and you have never had these thoughts as well. Unfortunately you and me are not like everyone and don’t go through what everyone else has. Since you haven’t been a victim of bulling this bad I feel that we shouldn’t judge the actions of these kids.
DeleteBulleying has become an epidemic! What is the reason for this? dont the children or even adults relaize they are responsible for someones death? This article should open the eyes of some people.KIDS are killing themself... where is this world coming to. Our country is spending so much money on anti bulleying programs and yet we still wittness the brutality of bulleying. Its becausee no oneenforces it and people bring their own emotions into certain problems.
ReplyDeleteBullying has become an epidemic! What is the reason for this? Don’t the children or even adults realize they are responsible for someone’s death? This article should open the eyes of some people. KIDS are killing themself... where is this world coming to. Our country is spending so much money on anti-bullying programs and yet we still witness the brutality of bullying. It’s because no one enforces it and people bring their own emotions into certain problems. “Seth had been teased relentlessly; it started when he was in fourth grade, according to his grandmother Judy Walsh. “By sixth grade, kids were starting to get mean," she says. "By seventh grade, he was afraid to walk home from school." Seth hanged himself in his backyard on Sept. 19. The question is how people can live with themselves after doing such a brutal thing. The humorous thing is teachers are sometimes the witness to bullying but since it does not affect them they allow it. So what’s the point of all these anti-bullying programs if one of the main people who should be involved in them is not involved? My point is no one in this world deserves to be bullied!
ReplyDeleteAmanda Crespo
Bullying seems to have become a huge problem lately. It almost makes kids too afraid to share who they are with people. If opening up to new people meant that I risked being ridiculed to the point of suicide I would probably just stay as isolated as possible. That being said I also think it is important for bullied kids to know the power of ignoring bullies. Much like with any other form of sadism the aggressor only wins if the victim gives the response the aggressor is looking for. On the other hand, once things get physical people need to be alerted. Friends or family doesn’t really matter who as long as some one knows to be on the lookout for a violent bully. Switching to the topic of suicide, I believe it should never be taken lightly. When you know someone is at or even near that level of desperation taking everything they say seriously could potentially save their life. Lastly some of the victims in this article were gay and for whatever stupid reason that’s a huge problem for some people in America. On this note I will say that if someone wants to be openly gay they should have the mental and physical strength to withstand the onslaught of insensitivity they are sure to be greeted with. As for the case of the leaked photo, maintain a high level of situational awareness. If you don’t want people to know something you about you don’t do it around them and be prepared for the off chance you are caught.
ReplyDeletevery unfortunate situations in all cases though, if only people were more accepting.
Also agreeing with Darnell. Suicide should not be taken lightly. There have been far too many instances where someone was suicidal and the signs were obvious to others around them, and yet these people did not take it as a serious matter and as such, the person's life was gone. And I also have to agree on the last bit. If people were more accepting it wouldn't be the case, but since we aren't, if you do something you don't want others to know, you have to be prepared for the ridicule in case it does get leaked out to others.
DeleteNowadays people are really cruel. Everyone seems to overlook the fact that no ones is perfection and everyone has flaws. Just because society has built up this facade that being homosexual, reading science books for a hobby and doing things that other will consider "out of order" in there eyes. Its too bad that people think that killing themselves is the answer to things. because its not. Its sad that people feel like they have the power to talk about anyone else and what they feel like the person is doing is wrong. Human Beings will always be judged regardless until the day that they die. However that does not make suicide any better.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Nyesha, because in this world today everybody has something wrong nobody is perfect & people that tend to pick somebody apart has to do some self healing. Bullying is something in this world that will probably never leave and we people have to understand but we can't allow it although it's apart of this world, you must stand for what you believe in and always hold your own ground .
DeleteMaddy says:
ReplyDeleteIn response to Kamille:
The fact that bullying has resulted in many lives lost is just sad. Our country should not have to spend money on the prevention of bullying because people should have the common courtesy to respect each other. Kamille said, “many children are not aware of something so small as talking about someones hair or shoes in a negative way is a form of bullying. We are all human and we all have talked about someone in a negative way before.” I agree with Kamille because if even talking about someone, that is a form of bullying. If we all try to not talk about each other for one day I think bullying would slowly start to decrease.
In response to LeeAna:
Bullying affects people in many different ways. Some people brush it off or some live with it for the rest of their life or until their life is ended. It happens everywhere and to anyone of any race, gender, religion, and views. Bullying can hurt emotionally and physically. LeeAna said, “Any person’s life should not be tormented by others just to create entertainment.” I agree with this statement because comments and actions people say and do are always hurtful. It always takes that one comment or action to stir up suicidal thoughts and result in the loss of someone’s life.
It's very sad to see people getting bullied , I feel that no one should ever bully a person because it's very rude. Especially if the victim kills them self due to the bullying. It's awful and unfair no person deserves that kind of treatment. Who cares if he kissed a boy , that's how the world is today , this person has to feel GUILT to the fullest , people don't know when to stop they take it way to far and then feel so bad about killing someone. People are fake and hurt people just to be funny. I was bullied when I was younger but never to the point where I was ever getting hurt.Judgmental people think it's funny until someone is hurt. For a child to be taken away from a parent ... that feeling can not even be explained but you took a hopeless life away from Earth that should not have been taken.
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ReplyDeleteThanks for at least admitting that everyone does it. And yes your right it sometimes is too much. Although personally I believe bullying is sometimes positive. If your are an athlete than you understand what I mean. My coach sometimes bullies us to make us rise to the pressure. He doesn’t do this to be an asshole, he does it to see who is going to be able to overcome adversity in the game or fold under the pressure. You can think this is wrong but I honestly think its genius because sports aren’t for the weak-minded, it takes a strong mind that has been through hell and back. I’m sorry but a suicide victim will never get my sympathy. The bully did not make them kill themselves, no one can make you do anything. What ever happened to free will. NO! They choose to feel sorry for themselves and take their own life. “What other people think of me is none of my business” ;)
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